Blog Post

What's the average age kids see Internet pornography?(quite young)

  • By Kimberly Perry
  • 17 Oct, 2019

It's not a matter of if, but when a child sees pornography.

How do we preserve the innocence of kids, yet also prepare them for questionable encounters?

According to a study done by the American Psychology Association, "the average age of first exposure was 13.37 years of age with the youngest exposure as early as 5 and the latest older than 26." Some experts cite 8 to 11 years old as the average age kids see Internet pornography. When kids are are exposed to pornography, this is a form of non-physical contact child sexual abuse. Seeing Internet pornography at a young age can increase the risk of becoming not only a victim, but an abuser. A friend of mine recently shared that he received a call from parents who discovered that a 12 year old boy from another family had sexually abused their 4 year old son, who mentioned this to his 8 year old sibling. The 8 year old sibling told their parents. Can you imagine the phone call by the parents of the 4 year old boy telling the other parents what their 12 year old boy had done? How did this 12 year old boy learn about hardcore sex acts? I wonder if or how much pornography played a role?

Prevention is key! One way to preserve the innocence of kids is to prepare them for not if, but when they will see pornography so they have a plan to protect themselves and get help. I have a family member who is a professionally trained counselor. He recently shared about a family he was working with where the 9 year old brother was sexually abusing the younger brother. He had the family read a Say "NO!" and TELL! book as part of the recovery process. I met Melanie, a professional social worker in Washington DC, at the Child on Child Problematic Sexual Behavior Summit this past March 2019, who is also a mom of a six year old son. After learning about pornography's influence with kids abusing kids, she decided to read a Say "NO!" and TELL! book to her son.

Watch Melanie's 2 min video testimony, a mom and professional social worker!


What is pornography?

Highlights from The Porn Phenomenon by Josh McDowell show the harms of pornography have unique repercussions that effect all of us in various ways.

1. What is pornography? Pornography is made of two Greek words: porne means “prostitutes” and graphein means “to write about.” In today’s digital world, we have images of porn in both form and function. The form or the “act” and “content” of porn has changed from words into images, but the function or “intention” remains the same.

2. What’s the history of pornography? You can study the “Kinsey Fallout” by Dr. Judith Reisman (drjudithreisman.com) to learn about the roots of modern pornography.

3. We live in a “pornified culture!” Porn is an aggressive industry that targets 11- 14 year old since their brains are still forming and highly susceptible to addiction (response is 4 X stronger than adults).

Toddlers, children, teens, men and women are just one click away from pornographic or XXX “hard core” content with the high accessibility of Smartphones we carry in our purses and pockets. As pornography becomes normalized, it’s also become more explicit, violent, racist, humiliating, and dehumanizing, while focusing on aggressive sexual activity (i.e. 50 Shades of Gray). Consumption of pornography causes desensitization – in order to experience arousal, many seek ever harsher more violent and degrading images, plus it’s free online! Pornography is a public health crisis.


How does porn effect the brain? 

Neuroplasticity means the brain is plastic and it changes just like muscles. It is modified by the behavior it produces. Pornography can change your brain. Viewing it releases dopamine and adrenaline and surges the reward system causing a similar reaction to your brain as drug use. Chemicals in the brain are powerful. Oxytocin can cause one to bond with fantasy and reject reality. The addiction footprint on the brain is atrophy in the striate or reward system – the more viewing per week, the more it changes. “An event which lasts a half a second within 5-10 min. has produced a structural change as profound as the structural changes one sees in (brain) damage…” (Dr. Gary Lynch, neurologist). Also, porn drives virtual reality (Oculus Rift) – multiplacisty porn is highly addictive (i.e. study Japan).

Consider the question"how long do you have to be away from pornography in order for your brain to recover from it?" An educated guess would be one or two years–similar to someone who ended drug use. It depends on where you are in your development, your age, and other factors. It also depends on what the reason for porn use was and whether the person has other addictions (Roberts, Hilton and Struthers at Set Free Global Summit, 2016).


Myths about Pornography 

Parents have the awesome opportunity to lead their kids! Pornography has replaced the school, the home and the church as a source of sex education. Parents MUST think “I want my kid to hear from me before a friend, Internet, older kid or culture gets to him or her with pornography", per Josh McDowell! Sean McDowell debunks three myths in Kids, Teens and Pornography teaching (Kids, Teens and Pornography, D6 Conference):

 Myth #1 - “It doesn’t affect me.” The #1 place teens learn about sex is porn with scripts or messages saying: sex is best outside of marriage, all women want sex from men and women like all sexual acts demanded by men - just use force if needed.

 Myth #2 - “I will quit later.” Sexual addiction is the hardest to overcome - it physically changes the brain plus neurochemicals surge forming new/deeper pathways – synapses that fire together, wire together. Avg. age of exposure to porn is 8 and 9 to 11 yrs. old.

 Myth # 3 - “I am not hurting anyone.” Pornography is connected to sex trafficking – many porn performers are sex trafficked victims. Increased demand grows the increase in supply for victims of sexploitation.

Be Aware – many young people are not searching for it, but may search Star Wars and find the “Star Wars porn site.” Pornography is looking for them! Kids are marketed porn! Porn is sexual exploitation. Porn is a crime, not entertainment. About 88% of scenes in porn films contain acts of physical aggression and 49% of scenes contain verbal aggression. The “portrayed” abuse in porn scenes are real and many of the porn performers are sex trafficked (www.strengthtofight.ca). Sextortion is becoming a major problem with minor children/teens and becoming one of the biggest dangers to kids online – predators have access to our kids and teens (www.foxnews.com/entertainment/2017/01/24/sextortion-becoming-major-problem-with-minor-children.html). Don’t “trust” your kids/teens on the Internet without barriers – youth are a target market of porn.


Statistics about Pornography and Teens (The Porn Phenomenon):

•Largest consumer of Internet porn are 12-17 yr. old.

•18% come across porn weekly or more even when not seeking it

•80% of 15 to 17 yr. old have been exposed to hardcore pornography

•85% of teens/young adults who have viewed porn did so online

•37% of teens actively seek out porn once a week

•70% of boys and 23% of girls have spent 30+ minutes viewing online porn

•71% of teens hide online behavior from their parents

•32% of teens say ALL or most of their friends regularly look at porn

Kristen Jenson, author of Good Pictures, Bad Pictures, gives examples of how pornography targets kids:

•50 Shades movies (made $85M first weekend) messages in media that kids see and hear about from friends/culture.

•Musical.ly App connected to porn and needs privacy settings from predators (join The Halcyon Movement).

•Snapchat App’s “discover feature” connects to porn and “featured stories” at bottom of user’s “stories” page are sexually explicit (join the #NoThanksSnapchat campaign).

•Amazon website and App has access to porn in public libraries (i.e. child nudity) & porn book covers including Amazon's Kindle e-readers (join the #NotMyAmazon campaign).

•Anonymous Live Streaming Sites such as Omegle (known for child/minor predators) can lead to “sextortion.”

•Virtual Reality (VR) as Oculus Rift, HTC Vive, Samsung Gear and Sony Playstation has porn available for all platforms, which is a driving force for the VR experience (highly addictive!).


Together, let's decrease a child's risk of exposure to pornography and stop non- physical contact child sexual abuse. White Ribbon Against Pornography (WRAP) begins the last week in Oct 2019. Will you join the prevention movement and educate the kids and families you love by sharing a Say "NO!" and TELL! book this year? For example, in the scenarios section of both the Say "NO!" and TELL! kids books, I give an example of guarding your eyes while using Internet or Smartphones:

Guarded Eyes:

You are out with your family. While you and your friends are taking pictures with your smartphones, an older neighbor from home sees you and asks, “May we take a group picture together?”

SAFE!

It is safe to see and say, “Sure, we can all take a picture together as a group so we have this fun memory."

Unguarded Eyes:

You are out with your family. While you and your friends are taking pictures with your smartphones, an older neighbor from home comes up to you and secretly says, “Come over here and look at this picture I found on my smartphone of someone naked.”

UNSAFE!

Say “NO!” to seeing pictures or videos of private parts and TELL! It is not okay (unsafe to see) if someone tries to show you pictures or videos of someone naked (without clothes on or nudity) whether it is in a magazine, book, camera, smartphone, computer or Internet. This can make a harmful memory.

Reading a Say "NO!" and TELL! book can be as easy as 1, 2, 3 - share this blog and help protect the next child today!

By Kimberly Perry 13 Dec, 2023

How does body safety and choosing healthy foods with kids connect? Well, we can practice decision-making, wellness, self-care affirmative feedback and positive body image as it relates to food to name a few, which can lay the foundation for teaching body safety. Because, when we consider our personal nutrition and relationship with food, we connect to our bodies. Supporting children in growing healthy self- images with nutrition, as an example, teaches them self-care - they learn their hearts, minds and bodies are worth it!

Plus, I like to strengthen the WeStandGuard.com content with a variety of other supportive topics beyond body safety, yet so closely related such as self-care.

Check out guest blog by Anya Willis @  Fitkids.info

Nurture Your Children Toward Healthier Choices

Navigating the myriad of lifestyle choices in today's world can be overwhelming, particularly for children. Thus, it's crucial for parents to step in and guide their youngsters toward making healthier decisions. While it’s not always easy, there are several things you can do to make the process fun for your little ones. This article offers a comprehensive set of advice and resources that can assist parents in instilling healthy habits in their children. Let's get started.

Involving Kids in Decision-Making

Involving children in meal planning and grocery shopping can greatly enhance their interest in healthier eating. Giving them a voice in food choices fosters a sense of ownership and encourages them to be open to nutritional options. One effective method is to collaboratively create a shopping list, or you might allow them to help you cook dinner. Another strategy is to allow them to pick out a new fruit or vegetable each week as a way to diversify their palate. These practices not only make children more receptive to healthy foods but also provide valuable learning experiences.

Incorporate Nutritious Foods

Mealtime offers a prime opportunity to enrich a child's diet with nutritious ingredients. Innovative approaches, like blending vegetables into smoothies or adding them to homemade muffins, can make the transition to healthy eating more enjoyable. The goal is to seamlessly weave nutrition into familiar foods , making it less of a chore for children to eat healthily. This creative incorporation aids in acclimating children to better eating practices without compromising on taste.

Encourage Regular Physical Exercise

Physical activity is vital for a child’s overall well-being. Family walks can be a fun and practical way to instill the habit of regular exercise. Moreover, if your neighborhood isn't pedestrian-friendly, look for an area with a high Walk Score of 70 or above to get your daily steps in. Such areas are generally safer and more conducive to walking, making it easier for your family to maintain an active lifestyle.

Foster a Positive Body Image

Media exposure can strongly influence children's views on body image, frequently presenting unattainable standards. Initiating conversations with your children about these media portrayals can help debunk myths about ideal body types. The emphasis should shift from chasing unrealistic images to adopting a balanced, healthy lifestyle. This approach aids in cultivating a positive body image and a healthier self-perception in children.

Ignite Their Interests

Each child has distinct interests that can significantly impact their well-being when explored. Identifying an activity that aligns with your child's passions can imbue them with a sense of purpose. Participation in extracurricular activities, whether it's art, sports, or technology , can enhance their social skills and offer alternative avenues for physical or mental engagement. This focused involvement can be instrumental in promoting a balanced, fulfilling lifestyle for your child.

Utilize Affirmative Feedback

Positive feedback is crucial for children, as it often serves as motivation to continue making good choices. When coming from trusted adults, this affirmation can be especially impactful. Commending your child for making healthy choices, such as choosing fruit over candy or practicing a new skill, encourages better decision-making. This cycle of affirmation and improved behavior reinforces the importance of positive reinforcement in a child's development.

Guiding children to make healthier choices is a long-term commitment that demands both patience and resourcefulness. However, by utilizing the practical tips and methods outlined above, you’re well on your way to setting them up for a future of wellbeing. Foster their interest in nutrition, encourage physical activities, engage them in dialogues about body image, help them find activities they love, and use affirmation as a powerful motivational tool. This balanced approach will enable you to lead your children down the path to a fulfilling, healthy life.

Have a question for the team at We Stand Guard ? Reach out today.

By Kimberly Perry 22 Sep, 2023
What about the problem of sexting leading to sextortion leading to sex trafficking progression? Possibly, much to chagrin of many people recently watching the Sound of Freedom movie, these very real risks do not only happen overseas or far flung parts of the Earth. Sadly, the USA runs rampant with these atrocities, often leading the way in the consumption of it all.
By Kimberly Perry 05 Sep, 2023

What challenges or gaps are you facing as the kids are growing up, which brings change as they transition from childhood to tweeners and teenagers.

In addition to last month's blog on A Look at Self-Care Activities for Kids , here is an interesting look at your own self-care, especially during transitions with kids growing up. In fact, I visited my triplet nephews this past Labor Day weekend and my brother and I were cracking up since their PJ bottoms were like crop pants - they have grown taller as they begin middle school! Surprise!!!

As a follow up to last month, check out Anya Willis' Part 2 guest blog on self-care (see more at https://fitkids.info/ ).  

Life is a roller coaster of changes, from new jobs and relationships to relocations and even crises. As disorienting as these major life transitions can be, they also offer a unique opportunity to reboot your habits and improve your overall well-being. Today, we will provide you with strategies to embrace these transformations and convert life's challenges into stepping stones for a better you, 

Turning Anxiety into Calm

It's natural for stress levels to peak during transitions. However, these moments provide a chance to develop effective stress-management strategies. Start with acknowledging the stressors. Once you identify them, use mindfulness exercises, such as deep breathing or meditation, to mitigate their impact. Incorporating physical activity can also make a significant difference. Exercise releases endorphins, which naturally reduces stress. So, the next time you find yourself overwhelmed, remember to take a step back and focus on your well-being.

Go Back to School

Returning to school is one of the best ways to revitalize your life and open doors in terms of a future career. There are plenty of options out there, as well. For instance, if you’ve ever thought about pursuing an online bachelor's degree in nursing , now is the time. Online nurses are in high demand, and if you’re open to the flexibility that comes with internet-based learning platforms, you can work toward your degree on your own schedule, from the comfort of your own home.

From Concept to Logo

Major life transitions can also offer the ideal moment to venture into entrepreneurship. Begin with research. Understand your target market, potential challenges, and financial requirements. Once you have a comprehensive plan, move to the execution phase. When it comes to establishing a brand identity , create a memorable image using free online logo makers. These platforms offer an array of customizable designs to give your business a professional edge, and a well-designed logo can do wonders for brand recognition.

Fostering Consistency

Adjusting to a new chapter in life often requires a revamped routine. Consistency is the cornerstone of habit formation , and the best way to ensure this is by designing a daily routine that aligns with your newfound goals. This can be anything from a workout schedule to set times for personal and professional growth. Not only does this help in maintaining a balanced life, but it also solidifies the positive changes you aim to make.

Legal and Financial Control through an LLC

If you opt for the entrepreneurial route, forming an LLC ( limited liability company ) is crucial. This legal structure provides personal liability protection and offers several tax benefits. It signifies a critical step towards becoming your own boss, putting you in control of your business and, by extension, your destiny. Consider consulting professionals to help you navigate the complexities of forming an LLC.

Balance Your Caffeine Intake

For many, caffeine is a daily necessity. However, it's easy to go overboard, especially during stressful periods. If you must drink caffeine, take the time to learn more about the different coffee drinks available. Whether it's opting for a lighter roast or mixing in decaf, these choices can help you maintain energy levels without sacrificing sleep quality.

Improve Your Social Circle

Relationships play a crucial role during transitional phases. This is an ideal time to assess your social circle and make necessary adjustments. If certain relationships are toxic, it’s time to distance yourself. Surrounding yourself with positive, supportive individuals can significantly boost your emotional and psychological well-being.

Repair Your Credit

Transitions often have financial implications. Use this time to review your credit report and take steps to fix any inconsistencies or debts. By managing your finances effectively, you lessen stress and lay the foundation for a stable future.

Goals with a Purpose: Mapping Your Journey

Setting clearly defined goals that resonate with your core values is fundamental. They act as a roadmap, guiding you through challenges and keeping you centered. A detailed, step-by-step plan can greatly assist in achieving these goals, and the focus it brings can be an invaluable asset.

The experience of undergoing a significant life transition can be exhilarating, daunting, and enriching all at once. Embracing these transitional phases with purposeful strategies can redefine challenges as opportunities for personal and professional growth. By applying the practices highlighted in this article, you're poised to emerge stronger, more empowered, and ready to seize future opportunities with aplomb.

By Kimberly Perry 18 Aug, 2023
Self-care for everyone!
By Kimberly Perry 22 Jul, 2023
Healthy tech habits for everyone!
By Kimberly Perry 26 May, 2023
What ages are kids being exposed to porn? When to start talking about porn with kids. How to define porn for kids and why definitions are important. Practicing what to do (firedrill technique) How do we get their "buy in? How do we get kids to want to make the right choices? Healthy Screen Habit
By Kimberly Perry 09 May, 2023
Preventing child trafficking is possible.
By Kimberly Perry 17 Mar, 2023
Learn to spot a child groomer and how to protect children.
By Kimberly Perry 01 Dec, 2022
It looks like my November 2022 article titled Some Call it Child P*rnography (rather than CSAM) foreshadowed things to come, unfortunately, per current news about Balenciaga's outrageously wicked "photoshoots" of very young children with BDSM accessories plush bears.
By Kimberly Perry 04 Nov, 2022
Kids cannot consent!

This month is NO PORN NOVEMBER. When you hear reports of pornography's abuse, the law and media may use various terminology to describe the victim of "child pornography" mixed up in prostitution by naming a "young lady" rather than accurately reflecting the actual age by saying a girl, child or minor.

However, there is no such thing as “child pornography” which seems to imply consent - children/minors cannot give consent! Images with any visual depiction of sexually explicit conduct involving a minor (a person less than 18 years old) is specifically called child sexual abuse material or CSAM according to experts in the field.

Nevertheless, pornography of any aged person is sexual exploitation for allsince very often, the acts are real abuse of the women (including children, teens and men) and other “performers” because the industry preys on the vulnerable and eviscerates human dignity.It's a predatory industry since they know pornography can be like a drug with an addictive nature (feels like you cannot stop even if you want to), which changes and harms the brain for buyers and consumers. 

Did you know that 27% of older millennials say they started viewing porn before puberty ( Josh McDowell, The Porn Phenomenon )? In fact, exposing or showing pornography to a child/minor is an example of non-physical contact child sexual abuse, in which abusers may use for grooming kids and teens to normalize abuse. It is not a matter of if but when a child will most likely see pornography and be traumatized (some say average age is 8 yrs). Also, pornographic images of vulnerable men, women, teens and children through coercion or exchange of sexual acts for goods and services is known as sex trafficking.

Furthermore, according to The National Center on Missing and Exploited Children (NCMEC) , the CyberTipline has received over 82 million reports, reviewed over 322 million images/videos and identified over 19,000 victims of CSAM   - how can this be?! NCMEC says:

"United States federal law defines child pornography as any visual depiction of sexually explicit conduct involving a minor (a person less than 18 years old). Outside of the legal system, NCMEC chooses to refer to these images as Child Sexual Abuse Material (CSAM) to most accurately reflect what is depicted – the sexual abuse and exploitation of children. Not only do these images and videos document victims’ exploitation and abuse, but when these files are shared across the internet, child victims suffer re-victimization each time the image of their sexual abuse is viewed."

How is it usually detected?

The usual way to detect CSAM is when cloud services like Google Photos scan uploaded photos and compare them against a database of known CSAM images. This database is provided by NCMEC and similar organizations around the world. The actual matching process uses what’s known as a hash, or digital fingerprint. This is derived from key elements of the image, and is deliberately fuzzy so that it will continue to work when images are resized, cropped, or otherwise processed.  So, with this process in place,   why is CSAM still happening all over the Internet?

What else are tech companies doing to stop this atrocity on line?

What can we do to dismantle this multi-billion dollar global industry? 
An article  published by business news site, Quartz, tends to agree. The article places the industry’s value at anywhere between $6 billion and $97 billion, with the more realistic estimates ranging from $6 billion to $15 billion (Fight the New Drug blog).

Who are the buyers and consumers of CSAM?

How can you be a voice to free an enslaved child?
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