Blog Post

My child will never see pornography (but HOW will you know?) 

  • By Kimberly Perry
  • 13 Aug, 2018

#MeTooPrevention: a 4th real-life story

Pornography is a Real Threat

Children and teens have instant access to the Internet, which opens up a world of possibilities for learning and connecting with others. However, the potential for the Internet's good also has an equal and opposite capacity for harm such as the traumas of seeing pornography. Young people may be innocently researching a homework project, such family heritage, and the pornographers often trick kids with website URL addresses that are similar to an educational one, but really it is pornography. Also, predators can pose as "friends" on social media and gain access to children and teens, which can expose them to the threats of sex trafficking. 

We can begin to know more by arming ourselves with the facts about pornography!  Let's begin the conversations around "guarding your eyes" early on and build a bridge of communication so children know it is safe to come and tell you anything, especially if they see pornography, which is increasingly becoming more hardcore. Some abusers also show kids and teens pornography as a way to groom them for sexual abuse in the near future.

Three important points for parents of children and teens:

1. Parents have the awesome opportunity to lead their kids! Pornography has replaced the school, the home and the church as a source of sex education. Parents MUST think “I want my kid to hear from me before a friend, Internet, older kid or culture gets to him or her with pornography, according to Josh McDowell, in the The Porn Phenomenon.

Highlights from The Porn Phenomenon by Josh McDowell and Covenant Eyes with the Barna Group show the harms of pornography as having unique repercussions that effect all of us in various ways.

*What is pornography? Pornography is made of two Greek words: porne means “prostitutes” and graphein means “to write about.” In today’s digital world, we have images of porn in both form and function.

*What’s the history of pornography? You can study the “Kinsey Fallout” by Dr. Judith Reisman to learn about the roots of modern pornography.

*We live in a “pornified culture!” Porn is an aggressive industry that targets 11- 14 year old since their brains are still forming and highly susceptible to addiction (response is 4 X stronger than adults).  Check out the schemes of the pornography industry with Virtual Reality!

As pornography becomes normalized, it also becomes more explicit, violent, racist, humiliating, and dehumanizing, while focusing on aggressive sexual activity (i.e. 50 Shades of Gray). Consumption of pornography causes desensitization – in order to experience arousal, many seek ever harsher more violent and degrading images!

*Statistics include:

•Largest consumer of Internet porn are 12-17 yr. old.

•18% come across porn weekly or more even when not seeking it

•80% of 15 to 17 yr. old have been exposed to hardcore pornography

•85% of teens/young adults who have viewed porn did so online

•37% of teens actively seek out porn once a week

•70% of boys and 23% of girls have spent 30+ minutes viewing online porn

•93% of Christian young people talk with their friends about pornography in either neutral, accepting or encouraging way

•11% of Christian teens have one friend who thinks viewing porn is a bad thing

•71% of teens hide online behavior from their parents

•32% of teens say ALL or most of their friends regularly look at porn
  

2. Three myths debunked in Kids, Teens and Pornography (D6 Conference) by Sean McDowell:

  Myth #1 - “It doesn’t affect me.” The #1 place teens learn about sex is porn with scripts or messages saying: sex is best outside of marriage, all women want sex from men and women like all sexual acts demanded by men -just use force if needed.

  Myth #2 - “I will quit later.” Sexual addiction is the hardest to overcome - it physically changes the brain plus neurochemicals surge forming new/deeper pathways – synapses that fire together, wire   together. Avg. age of exposure to porn is 8 and 9 to 11 yrs. old.

  Myth # 3 - “I am not hurting anyone.” Pornography is connected to sex trafficking – many porn performers are sex trafficked victims.  


3. Pornography is sexual exploitation. About 88% of scenes in porn films contain acts of physical aggression and 49% of scenes contain verbal aggression. The “portrayed” abuse in porn scenes are real (www.strengthtofight.ca).

Sextortion is becoming a major problem with minor children/teens and becoming one of the biggest dangers to kids online – predators have access to our kids and teens (www.foxnews.com/entertainment/2017/01/24/sextortion-becoming-major-problem-with-minor-children.html). Don’t “trust” your kids/teens on the Internet without barriers!


--Our next anonymous writer shares her story about the how an adult showing her pornography as a child (which is a form of child sexual abuse) impacted her life--

When I was eight years old, my sister and I were left with a babysitter in a New York City apartment while my parents went out with business associates.  I remember the t.v. being turned on. The screen was literally blue while the words “blue t.v.” flashed across the screen. I do not remember who the sitter was or if the person was male or female.  The images which played next were burned into my memory and evoked a slightly familiar physiological response. At the time, I didn’t know this was hard core pornography depicting sex since I was so young.  I knew instantly that my parents would be angry with me if they knew I saw it.  My sister, age 4, was also in the room. And even though I was repulsed by the images I saw, I was captivated at the same time.  The word ‘pornography’ was also not a part of my vocabulary, so I wouldn’t know how to tell about what I saw, or who to tell or why to tell.  This was the first exposure I had to pornography.


I also found pornography in my father’s nightstand at home.  When I asked my mother about it, she told me it was my father’s business.  I was offended and appalled that she knew and didn’t seem to feel bad about the fact that it was there.  No one ever told me it was wrong, but I felt it was... Furthermore, I felt like I had done something bad because I found it, exposed it, and talked about it.  Shame ensued around this topic of sexuality. It was so confusing.


These events had an impact on my life.  The first major impact was that shame accompanied any thoughts about sex or mention of sex. I wanted to ask questions and talk about what I saw, but I thought I couldn’t.  I chose to avoid discussing any idea that could cause me to be rejected by my parents. I assumed it was bad to talk about it with anybody.  The second impact it had was its compelling nature.  Because of how it made me feel, physically, I wanted to look at it again and again.  Even my overwhelming sense of shame could not hold back this compulsion. The more I looked at it, the more I wanted to look at it.  I would read the articles included with the pictures in the magazines. I started to form my beliefs about what “men wanted from me”.  And according to this literature, they wanted me to be “sexy” by looking like the women posing in those magazines. They wanted me to act sexual and if I did act that way or talk the way the women depicted in these magazines talked and acted, I could be accepted.  I equated acceptance with love. I wanted desperately to be loved by boys, by men, by my father. This seemed to be the secret way to their approval. I became addicted to pornography. Perhaps one of the most devastating impacts the exposure to pornography had on my life was my objectification. The words and pictures I consumed said that I existed for nothing more than others’ enjoyment and that I should enjoy that reason for existing; I should be sexually aroused by my own objectification.  This brainwashing told me that I had no right to say “no” to a man, especially if he was an authority figure in my life-whether boss, co-worker, family member, or educator.  It told me that even if I did tell, it wouldn’t matter because his word was more trusted than mine. I was just an object.  This objectification gave men the right to abuse and molest me.  And, like it or not, there was little I could do about it, or so I believed.  This belief about my value and identity as a person led me down a path of being a victim over and over again.


Had I read a Say "No!" and TELL!”  book early in life, perhaps I would not have adopted the shame monster that told me not to talk about what I had seen, what I had witnessed, and what I had done myself.  Perhaps I would not have protected my perpetrators. Perhaps I would have thought of myself differently. Perhaps I would have been attracted to different kinds of boys and then men.  Maybe I would have called the police when they should and could have been called. Maybe I would not have become addicted to porn. Perhaps the abuse would have ended with me...

By Kimberly Perry 13 Dec, 2023

How does body safety and choosing healthy foods with kids connect? Well, we can practice decision-making, wellness, self-care affirmative feedback and positive body image as it relates to food to name a few, which can lay the foundation for teaching body safety. Because, when we consider our personal nutrition and relationship with food, we connect to our bodies. Supporting children in growing healthy self- images with nutrition, as an example, teaches them self-care - they learn their hearts, minds and bodies are worth it!

Plus, I like to strengthen the WeStandGuard.com content with a variety of other supportive topics beyond body safety, yet so closely related such as self-care.

Check out guest blog by Anya Willis @  Fitkids.info

Nurture Your Children Toward Healthier Choices

Navigating the myriad of lifestyle choices in today's world can be overwhelming, particularly for children. Thus, it's crucial for parents to step in and guide their youngsters toward making healthier decisions. While it’s not always easy, there are several things you can do to make the process fun for your little ones. This article offers a comprehensive set of advice and resources that can assist parents in instilling healthy habits in their children. Let's get started.

Involving Kids in Decision-Making

Involving children in meal planning and grocery shopping can greatly enhance their interest in healthier eating. Giving them a voice in food choices fosters a sense of ownership and encourages them to be open to nutritional options. One effective method is to collaboratively create a shopping list, or you might allow them to help you cook dinner. Another strategy is to allow them to pick out a new fruit or vegetable each week as a way to diversify their palate. These practices not only make children more receptive to healthy foods but also provide valuable learning experiences.

Incorporate Nutritious Foods

Mealtime offers a prime opportunity to enrich a child's diet with nutritious ingredients. Innovative approaches, like blending vegetables into smoothies or adding them to homemade muffins, can make the transition to healthy eating more enjoyable. The goal is to seamlessly weave nutrition into familiar foods , making it less of a chore for children to eat healthily. This creative incorporation aids in acclimating children to better eating practices without compromising on taste.

Encourage Regular Physical Exercise

Physical activity is vital for a child’s overall well-being. Family walks can be a fun and practical way to instill the habit of regular exercise. Moreover, if your neighborhood isn't pedestrian-friendly, look for an area with a high Walk Score of 70 or above to get your daily steps in. Such areas are generally safer and more conducive to walking, making it easier for your family to maintain an active lifestyle.

Foster a Positive Body Image

Media exposure can strongly influence children's views on body image, frequently presenting unattainable standards. Initiating conversations with your children about these media portrayals can help debunk myths about ideal body types. The emphasis should shift from chasing unrealistic images to adopting a balanced, healthy lifestyle. This approach aids in cultivating a positive body image and a healthier self-perception in children.

Ignite Their Interests

Each child has distinct interests that can significantly impact their well-being when explored. Identifying an activity that aligns with your child's passions can imbue them with a sense of purpose. Participation in extracurricular activities, whether it's art, sports, or technology , can enhance their social skills and offer alternative avenues for physical or mental engagement. This focused involvement can be instrumental in promoting a balanced, fulfilling lifestyle for your child.

Utilize Affirmative Feedback

Positive feedback is crucial for children, as it often serves as motivation to continue making good choices. When coming from trusted adults, this affirmation can be especially impactful. Commending your child for making healthy choices, such as choosing fruit over candy or practicing a new skill, encourages better decision-making. This cycle of affirmation and improved behavior reinforces the importance of positive reinforcement in a child's development.

Guiding children to make healthier choices is a long-term commitment that demands both patience and resourcefulness. However, by utilizing the practical tips and methods outlined above, you’re well on your way to setting them up for a future of wellbeing. Foster their interest in nutrition, encourage physical activities, engage them in dialogues about body image, help them find activities they love, and use affirmation as a powerful motivational tool. This balanced approach will enable you to lead your children down the path to a fulfilling, healthy life.

Have a question for the team at We Stand Guard ? Reach out today.

By Kimberly Perry 22 Sep, 2023
What about the problem of sexting leading to sextortion leading to sex trafficking progression? Possibly, much to chagrin of many people recently watching the Sound of Freedom movie, these very real risks do not only happen overseas or far flung parts of the Earth. Sadly, the USA runs rampant with these atrocities, often leading the way in the consumption of it all.
By Kimberly Perry 05 Sep, 2023

What challenges or gaps are you facing as the kids are growing up, which brings change as they transition from childhood to tweeners and teenagers.

In addition to last month's blog on A Look at Self-Care Activities for Kids , here is an interesting look at your own self-care, especially during transitions with kids growing up. In fact, I visited my triplet nephews this past Labor Day weekend and my brother and I were cracking up since their PJ bottoms were like crop pants - they have grown taller as they begin middle school! Surprise!!!

As a follow up to last month, check out Anya Willis' Part 2 guest blog on self-care (see more at https://fitkids.info/ ).  

Life is a roller coaster of changes, from new jobs and relationships to relocations and even crises. As disorienting as these major life transitions can be, they also offer a unique opportunity to reboot your habits and improve your overall well-being. Today, we will provide you with strategies to embrace these transformations and convert life's challenges into stepping stones for a better you, 

Turning Anxiety into Calm

It's natural for stress levels to peak during transitions. However, these moments provide a chance to develop effective stress-management strategies. Start with acknowledging the stressors. Once you identify them, use mindfulness exercises, such as deep breathing or meditation, to mitigate their impact. Incorporating physical activity can also make a significant difference. Exercise releases endorphins, which naturally reduces stress. So, the next time you find yourself overwhelmed, remember to take a step back and focus on your well-being.

Go Back to School

Returning to school is one of the best ways to revitalize your life and open doors in terms of a future career. There are plenty of options out there, as well. For instance, if you’ve ever thought about pursuing an online bachelor's degree in nursing , now is the time. Online nurses are in high demand, and if you’re open to the flexibility that comes with internet-based learning platforms, you can work toward your degree on your own schedule, from the comfort of your own home.

From Concept to Logo

Major life transitions can also offer the ideal moment to venture into entrepreneurship. Begin with research. Understand your target market, potential challenges, and financial requirements. Once you have a comprehensive plan, move to the execution phase. When it comes to establishing a brand identity , create a memorable image using free online logo makers. These platforms offer an array of customizable designs to give your business a professional edge, and a well-designed logo can do wonders for brand recognition.

Fostering Consistency

Adjusting to a new chapter in life often requires a revamped routine. Consistency is the cornerstone of habit formation , and the best way to ensure this is by designing a daily routine that aligns with your newfound goals. This can be anything from a workout schedule to set times for personal and professional growth. Not only does this help in maintaining a balanced life, but it also solidifies the positive changes you aim to make.

Legal and Financial Control through an LLC

If you opt for the entrepreneurial route, forming an LLC ( limited liability company ) is crucial. This legal structure provides personal liability protection and offers several tax benefits. It signifies a critical step towards becoming your own boss, putting you in control of your business and, by extension, your destiny. Consider consulting professionals to help you navigate the complexities of forming an LLC.

Balance Your Caffeine Intake

For many, caffeine is a daily necessity. However, it's easy to go overboard, especially during stressful periods. If you must drink caffeine, take the time to learn more about the different coffee drinks available. Whether it's opting for a lighter roast or mixing in decaf, these choices can help you maintain energy levels without sacrificing sleep quality.

Improve Your Social Circle

Relationships play a crucial role during transitional phases. This is an ideal time to assess your social circle and make necessary adjustments. If certain relationships are toxic, it’s time to distance yourself. Surrounding yourself with positive, supportive individuals can significantly boost your emotional and psychological well-being.

Repair Your Credit

Transitions often have financial implications. Use this time to review your credit report and take steps to fix any inconsistencies or debts. By managing your finances effectively, you lessen stress and lay the foundation for a stable future.

Goals with a Purpose: Mapping Your Journey

Setting clearly defined goals that resonate with your core values is fundamental. They act as a roadmap, guiding you through challenges and keeping you centered. A detailed, step-by-step plan can greatly assist in achieving these goals, and the focus it brings can be an invaluable asset.

The experience of undergoing a significant life transition can be exhilarating, daunting, and enriching all at once. Embracing these transitional phases with purposeful strategies can redefine challenges as opportunities for personal and professional growth. By applying the practices highlighted in this article, you're poised to emerge stronger, more empowered, and ready to seize future opportunities with aplomb.

By Kimberly Perry 18 Aug, 2023
Self-care for everyone!
By Kimberly Perry 22 Jul, 2023
Healthy tech habits for everyone!
By Kimberly Perry 26 May, 2023
What ages are kids being exposed to porn? When to start talking about porn with kids. How to define porn for kids and why definitions are important. Practicing what to do (firedrill technique) How do we get their "buy in? How do we get kids to want to make the right choices? Healthy Screen Habit
By Kimberly Perry 09 May, 2023
Preventing child trafficking is possible.
By Kimberly Perry 17 Mar, 2023
Learn to spot a child groomer and how to protect children.
By Kimberly Perry 01 Dec, 2022
It looks like my November 2022 article titled Some Call it Child P*rnography (rather than CSAM) foreshadowed things to come, unfortunately, per current news about Balenciaga's outrageously wicked "photoshoots" of very young children with BDSM accessories plush bears.
By Kimberly Perry 04 Nov, 2022
Kids cannot consent!

This month is NO PORN NOVEMBER. When you hear reports of pornography's abuse, the law and media may use various terminology to describe the victim of "child pornography" mixed up in prostitution by naming a "young lady" rather than accurately reflecting the actual age by saying a girl, child or minor.

However, there is no such thing as “child pornography” which seems to imply consent - children/minors cannot give consent! Images with any visual depiction of sexually explicit conduct involving a minor (a person less than 18 years old) is specifically called child sexual abuse material or CSAM according to experts in the field.

Nevertheless, pornography of any aged person is sexual exploitation for allsince very often, the acts are real abuse of the women (including children, teens and men) and other “performers” because the industry preys on the vulnerable and eviscerates human dignity.It's a predatory industry since they know pornography can be like a drug with an addictive nature (feels like you cannot stop even if you want to), which changes and harms the brain for buyers and consumers. 

Did you know that 27% of older millennials say they started viewing porn before puberty ( Josh McDowell, The Porn Phenomenon )? In fact, exposing or showing pornography to a child/minor is an example of non-physical contact child sexual abuse, in which abusers may use for grooming kids and teens to normalize abuse. It is not a matter of if but when a child will most likely see pornography and be traumatized (some say average age is 8 yrs). Also, pornographic images of vulnerable men, women, teens and children through coercion or exchange of sexual acts for goods and services is known as sex trafficking.

Furthermore, according to The National Center on Missing and Exploited Children (NCMEC) , the CyberTipline has received over 82 million reports, reviewed over 322 million images/videos and identified over 19,000 victims of CSAM   - how can this be?! NCMEC says:

"United States federal law defines child pornography as any visual depiction of sexually explicit conduct involving a minor (a person less than 18 years old). Outside of the legal system, NCMEC chooses to refer to these images as Child Sexual Abuse Material (CSAM) to most accurately reflect what is depicted – the sexual abuse and exploitation of children. Not only do these images and videos document victims’ exploitation and abuse, but when these files are shared across the internet, child victims suffer re-victimization each time the image of their sexual abuse is viewed."

How is it usually detected?

The usual way to detect CSAM is when cloud services like Google Photos scan uploaded photos and compare them against a database of known CSAM images. This database is provided by NCMEC and similar organizations around the world. The actual matching process uses what’s known as a hash, or digital fingerprint. This is derived from key elements of the image, and is deliberately fuzzy so that it will continue to work when images are resized, cropped, or otherwise processed.  So, with this process in place,   why is CSAM still happening all over the Internet?

What else are tech companies doing to stop this atrocity on line?

What can we do to dismantle this multi-billion dollar global industry? 
An article  published by business news site, Quartz, tends to agree. The article places the industry’s value at anywhere between $6 billion and $97 billion, with the more realistic estimates ranging from $6 billion to $15 billion (Fight the New Drug blog).

Who are the buyers and consumers of CSAM?

How can you be a voice to free an enslaved child?
Show More
Share by: