Blog Post

My child will tell me if an unsafe touch happens...(but will they REALLY tell?)

  • By Kimberly Perry
  • 16 Apr, 2018

#MeTooPrevention: a 2nd real-life story

When a child is sexually abused, the trauma can be so severe that he/she rarely tells. It is estimated that 38% of child victims disclose the fact that they have been sexually abused. Of these, 40% tell a close friend, rather than an adult or authority, which often goes unreported. Abusers often threaten the child’s well-being or his/her family and friends, which only adds to the fear of telling anyone. It is estimated that only 4 to 8% of child sexual abuse reports are false; often the fabricated reports are given by adults trying to sway a custody battle in their favor (D2L.com).

It is not a matter of if, but when a child may have a questionable encounter, especially since child sexual abuse involves both physical contact and non-physical contact abuse (such as exposing a child to pornography, which is increasingly becoming more hardcore, often involving sex trafficked victims). Pornography is widely accessible to all ages via Smartphones and some other surprising sources, such as EBSCO, an online reference system serving many schools. Together, as a next step, we can help eliminate easy access and exposure of pornography to children by contacting companies on this Dirty Dozen List 2018 and requesting they make the necessary changes to protect everyone, including children, from easy access to porn. The hyper-sexualization of children through objectification largely includes pornography as a big part of the problem and Internet sex crimes are also real threats.

To highlight April as both National Child Abuse Prevention Month and Sexual Assault Awareness Month our second anonymous writer shares her real-life story and debunks the myth that children readily tell a grown-up if sexual abuse happens.


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A Real-Life Story

Submitted by an anonymous writer #2

When I was around 7 years old, I remember crying out in tears…or was it silent and just the sounds in my head? Even today, as I write about the sexual abuse part of my life, I have thoughts of “was I imagining things?” or “did this really happen?” The memory can still be agonizing and heinous so at times it just feels better to block it out, ignore it or pretend… and wish it never happened. But, in reality, I do know that it happened. I had no exposure to pornography and, as a child, could not even imagine such things, let alone realize what was happening to me. All I know is that I was terrified and wanted it to stop.

One main effect of being sexually abused one time by a stranger (which is statistically rare since most victims know their abuser per D2L.com) was my voice was stolen from me. One day, I was riding my bike home (to get a quick drink of water) after exploring our neighborhood woods with some of my family. Out of the blue, a man on a motorcycle made me stop en route on the trail to my home and sexually abused me in broad daylight, but no one was nearby to help or make it stop. After he let me go, I wiped my tears away, hopped on my bike, rode home and told… no one. I felt trapped in the shame and terror of it all. I thought I had done something bad and that it was all my fault. Essentially, I was in shock and felt traumatized - I did not even know what to say if I were to have told someone. I had no words…I lost my voice.

In middle school, I learned about what happened to me one day when I was flipping through the TV channels and heard Oprah sharing about her personal story of “molestation.” Instantly, I realized that was what happened to me. I finally understood that was sexual abuse and told a friend, but made her promise to keep it a secret. She told no one and I continued to hide that awful part of my life. As a senior in high school, I found the courage to tell my family for the first time. This was a very sad time for us, but also was the first step in my healing because telling someone who could help me began to set me free from the shame of it all. I had spent all those years believing the lies that “God did not love me,” “it was my fault,” and there is “something is wrong with me,” which spells out shame - a trigger reaction to sexual abuse. I felt broken from the sexual abuse, but especially damaged from being isolated and not telling anyone for so many years – I had no voice.

In college, I saw a Christian counselor about the sexual abuse and she gave me a book on forgiveness – I learned to forgive so I could go free. By God’s grace, I knew I was healing from the trauma even more and this felt wonderful. However, one day while shopping at Pier 1, I was shocked when a man brazenly flashed his private parts to me in the candle section. One would think that I, as a grown young adult, would have raced to the check-out counter to report it and call the police, but I froze… in silence. This was one of several revictimizations in the aftermath of child sexual abuse because I had no voice. Afterwards, I did tell a few close friends so that helped lift the shame, but I was stunned that I froze in the moment as a young woman…and did nothing. I still had not found my voice.

I believe that learning boundaries and personal safety by reading a “Say No and Tell” book as a child with a parent would have helped me, because I would have known the language of what to say as well as had permission to tell my parents right away. I could have received proper help and stopped the pain from the lies of shame and worthlessness early on, rather than suffer the next ten years and beyond…alone with this painful secret. My life just could have been so different. However, inspired by my faith in God and the love and support of others in my life, I continue to heal with a great measure of hope, recovery and wholeness for which I am grateful. The best thing I ever did was tell someone that I trusted who could help me, plus make a lifelong commitment to pursue my healing. I share my story with you now, because today…I have a voice.


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Will you empower a child’s voice today by posting and sharing this blog on social media with someone you care about and protect another child? This may seem like an insignificant or small thing to do, however we never know who might be reading our content. Your like, re-post or share may be the exact nudge someone needs to find the courage and actually be given permission for the first time to tell. Let's not underestimate the power of sharing this message of Saying NO... to NOT telling!

By Kimberly Perry 13 Dec, 2023

How does body safety and choosing healthy foods with kids connect? Well, we can practice decision-making, wellness, self-care affirmative feedback and positive body image as it relates to food to name a few, which can lay the foundation for teaching body safety. Because, when we consider our personal nutrition and relationship with food, we connect to our bodies. Supporting children in growing healthy self- images with nutrition, as an example, teaches them self-care - they learn their hearts, minds and bodies are worth it!

Plus, I like to strengthen the WeStandGuard.com content with a variety of other supportive topics beyond body safety, yet so closely related such as self-care.

Check out guest blog by Anya Willis @  Fitkids.info

Nurture Your Children Toward Healthier Choices

Navigating the myriad of lifestyle choices in today's world can be overwhelming, particularly for children. Thus, it's crucial for parents to step in and guide their youngsters toward making healthier decisions. While it’s not always easy, there are several things you can do to make the process fun for your little ones. This article offers a comprehensive set of advice and resources that can assist parents in instilling healthy habits in their children. Let's get started.

Involving Kids in Decision-Making

Involving children in meal planning and grocery shopping can greatly enhance their interest in healthier eating. Giving them a voice in food choices fosters a sense of ownership and encourages them to be open to nutritional options. One effective method is to collaboratively create a shopping list, or you might allow them to help you cook dinner. Another strategy is to allow them to pick out a new fruit or vegetable each week as a way to diversify their palate. These practices not only make children more receptive to healthy foods but also provide valuable learning experiences.

Incorporate Nutritious Foods

Mealtime offers a prime opportunity to enrich a child's diet with nutritious ingredients. Innovative approaches, like blending vegetables into smoothies or adding them to homemade muffins, can make the transition to healthy eating more enjoyable. The goal is to seamlessly weave nutrition into familiar foods , making it less of a chore for children to eat healthily. This creative incorporation aids in acclimating children to better eating practices without compromising on taste.

Encourage Regular Physical Exercise

Physical activity is vital for a child’s overall well-being. Family walks can be a fun and practical way to instill the habit of regular exercise. Moreover, if your neighborhood isn't pedestrian-friendly, look for an area with a high Walk Score of 70 or above to get your daily steps in. Such areas are generally safer and more conducive to walking, making it easier for your family to maintain an active lifestyle.

Foster a Positive Body Image

Media exposure can strongly influence children's views on body image, frequently presenting unattainable standards. Initiating conversations with your children about these media portrayals can help debunk myths about ideal body types. The emphasis should shift from chasing unrealistic images to adopting a balanced, healthy lifestyle. This approach aids in cultivating a positive body image and a healthier self-perception in children.

Ignite Their Interests

Each child has distinct interests that can significantly impact their well-being when explored. Identifying an activity that aligns with your child's passions can imbue them with a sense of purpose. Participation in extracurricular activities, whether it's art, sports, or technology , can enhance their social skills and offer alternative avenues for physical or mental engagement. This focused involvement can be instrumental in promoting a balanced, fulfilling lifestyle for your child.

Utilize Affirmative Feedback

Positive feedback is crucial for children, as it often serves as motivation to continue making good choices. When coming from trusted adults, this affirmation can be especially impactful. Commending your child for making healthy choices, such as choosing fruit over candy or practicing a new skill, encourages better decision-making. This cycle of affirmation and improved behavior reinforces the importance of positive reinforcement in a child's development.

Guiding children to make healthier choices is a long-term commitment that demands both patience and resourcefulness. However, by utilizing the practical tips and methods outlined above, you’re well on your way to setting them up for a future of wellbeing. Foster their interest in nutrition, encourage physical activities, engage them in dialogues about body image, help them find activities they love, and use affirmation as a powerful motivational tool. This balanced approach will enable you to lead your children down the path to a fulfilling, healthy life.

Have a question for the team at We Stand Guard ? Reach out today.

By Kimberly Perry 22 Sep, 2023
What about the problem of sexting leading to sextortion leading to sex trafficking progression? Possibly, much to chagrin of many people recently watching the Sound of Freedom movie, these very real risks do not only happen overseas or far flung parts of the Earth. Sadly, the USA runs rampant with these atrocities, often leading the way in the consumption of it all.
By Kimberly Perry 05 Sep, 2023

What challenges or gaps are you facing as the kids are growing up, which brings change as they transition from childhood to tweeners and teenagers.

In addition to last month's blog on A Look at Self-Care Activities for Kids , here is an interesting look at your own self-care, especially during transitions with kids growing up. In fact, I visited my triplet nephews this past Labor Day weekend and my brother and I were cracking up since their PJ bottoms were like crop pants - they have grown taller as they begin middle school! Surprise!!!

As a follow up to last month, check out Anya Willis' Part 2 guest blog on self-care (see more at https://fitkids.info/ ).  

Life is a roller coaster of changes, from new jobs and relationships to relocations and even crises. As disorienting as these major life transitions can be, they also offer a unique opportunity to reboot your habits and improve your overall well-being. Today, we will provide you with strategies to embrace these transformations and convert life's challenges into stepping stones for a better you, 

Turning Anxiety into Calm

It's natural for stress levels to peak during transitions. However, these moments provide a chance to develop effective stress-management strategies. Start with acknowledging the stressors. Once you identify them, use mindfulness exercises, such as deep breathing or meditation, to mitigate their impact. Incorporating physical activity can also make a significant difference. Exercise releases endorphins, which naturally reduces stress. So, the next time you find yourself overwhelmed, remember to take a step back and focus on your well-being.

Go Back to School

Returning to school is one of the best ways to revitalize your life and open doors in terms of a future career. There are plenty of options out there, as well. For instance, if you’ve ever thought about pursuing an online bachelor's degree in nursing , now is the time. Online nurses are in high demand, and if you’re open to the flexibility that comes with internet-based learning platforms, you can work toward your degree on your own schedule, from the comfort of your own home.

From Concept to Logo

Major life transitions can also offer the ideal moment to venture into entrepreneurship. Begin with research. Understand your target market, potential challenges, and financial requirements. Once you have a comprehensive plan, move to the execution phase. When it comes to establishing a brand identity , create a memorable image using free online logo makers. These platforms offer an array of customizable designs to give your business a professional edge, and a well-designed logo can do wonders for brand recognition.

Fostering Consistency

Adjusting to a new chapter in life often requires a revamped routine. Consistency is the cornerstone of habit formation , and the best way to ensure this is by designing a daily routine that aligns with your newfound goals. This can be anything from a workout schedule to set times for personal and professional growth. Not only does this help in maintaining a balanced life, but it also solidifies the positive changes you aim to make.

Legal and Financial Control through an LLC

If you opt for the entrepreneurial route, forming an LLC ( limited liability company ) is crucial. This legal structure provides personal liability protection and offers several tax benefits. It signifies a critical step towards becoming your own boss, putting you in control of your business and, by extension, your destiny. Consider consulting professionals to help you navigate the complexities of forming an LLC.

Balance Your Caffeine Intake

For many, caffeine is a daily necessity. However, it's easy to go overboard, especially during stressful periods. If you must drink caffeine, take the time to learn more about the different coffee drinks available. Whether it's opting for a lighter roast or mixing in decaf, these choices can help you maintain energy levels without sacrificing sleep quality.

Improve Your Social Circle

Relationships play a crucial role during transitional phases. This is an ideal time to assess your social circle and make necessary adjustments. If certain relationships are toxic, it’s time to distance yourself. Surrounding yourself with positive, supportive individuals can significantly boost your emotional and psychological well-being.

Repair Your Credit

Transitions often have financial implications. Use this time to review your credit report and take steps to fix any inconsistencies or debts. By managing your finances effectively, you lessen stress and lay the foundation for a stable future.

Goals with a Purpose: Mapping Your Journey

Setting clearly defined goals that resonate with your core values is fundamental. They act as a roadmap, guiding you through challenges and keeping you centered. A detailed, step-by-step plan can greatly assist in achieving these goals, and the focus it brings can be an invaluable asset.

The experience of undergoing a significant life transition can be exhilarating, daunting, and enriching all at once. Embracing these transitional phases with purposeful strategies can redefine challenges as opportunities for personal and professional growth. By applying the practices highlighted in this article, you're poised to emerge stronger, more empowered, and ready to seize future opportunities with aplomb.

By Kimberly Perry 18 Aug, 2023
Self-care for everyone!
By Kimberly Perry 22 Jul, 2023
Healthy tech habits for everyone!
By Kimberly Perry 26 May, 2023
What ages are kids being exposed to porn? When to start talking about porn with kids. How to define porn for kids and why definitions are important. Practicing what to do (firedrill technique) How do we get their "buy in? How do we get kids to want to make the right choices? Healthy Screen Habit
By Kimberly Perry 09 May, 2023
Preventing child trafficking is possible.
By Kimberly Perry 17 Mar, 2023
Learn to spot a child groomer and how to protect children.
By Kimberly Perry 01 Dec, 2022
It looks like my November 2022 article titled Some Call it Child P*rnography (rather than CSAM) foreshadowed things to come, unfortunately, per current news about Balenciaga's outrageously wicked "photoshoots" of very young children with BDSM accessories plush bears.
By Kimberly Perry 04 Nov, 2022
Kids cannot consent!

This month is NO PORN NOVEMBER. When you hear reports of pornography's abuse, the law and media may use various terminology to describe the victim of "child pornography" mixed up in prostitution by naming a "young lady" rather than accurately reflecting the actual age by saying a girl, child or minor.

However, there is no such thing as “child pornography” which seems to imply consent - children/minors cannot give consent! Images with any visual depiction of sexually explicit conduct involving a minor (a person less than 18 years old) is specifically called child sexual abuse material or CSAM according to experts in the field.

Nevertheless, pornography of any aged person is sexual exploitation for allsince very often, the acts are real abuse of the women (including children, teens and men) and other “performers” because the industry preys on the vulnerable and eviscerates human dignity.It's a predatory industry since they know pornography can be like a drug with an addictive nature (feels like you cannot stop even if you want to), which changes and harms the brain for buyers and consumers. 

Did you know that 27% of older millennials say they started viewing porn before puberty ( Josh McDowell, The Porn Phenomenon )? In fact, exposing or showing pornography to a child/minor is an example of non-physical contact child sexual abuse, in which abusers may use for grooming kids and teens to normalize abuse. It is not a matter of if but when a child will most likely see pornography and be traumatized (some say average age is 8 yrs). Also, pornographic images of vulnerable men, women, teens and children through coercion or exchange of sexual acts for goods and services is known as sex trafficking.

Furthermore, according to The National Center on Missing and Exploited Children (NCMEC) , the CyberTipline has received over 82 million reports, reviewed over 322 million images/videos and identified over 19,000 victims of CSAM   - how can this be?! NCMEC says:

"United States federal law defines child pornography as any visual depiction of sexually explicit conduct involving a minor (a person less than 18 years old). Outside of the legal system, NCMEC chooses to refer to these images as Child Sexual Abuse Material (CSAM) to most accurately reflect what is depicted – the sexual abuse and exploitation of children. Not only do these images and videos document victims’ exploitation and abuse, but when these files are shared across the internet, child victims suffer re-victimization each time the image of their sexual abuse is viewed."

How is it usually detected?

The usual way to detect CSAM is when cloud services like Google Photos scan uploaded photos and compare them against a database of known CSAM images. This database is provided by NCMEC and similar organizations around the world. The actual matching process uses what’s known as a hash, or digital fingerprint. This is derived from key elements of the image, and is deliberately fuzzy so that it will continue to work when images are resized, cropped, or otherwise processed.  So, with this process in place,   why is CSAM still happening all over the Internet?

What else are tech companies doing to stop this atrocity on line?

What can we do to dismantle this multi-billion dollar global industry? 
An article  published by business news site, Quartz, tends to agree. The article places the industry’s value at anywhere between $6 billion and $97 billion, with the more realistic estimates ranging from $6 billion to $15 billion (Fight the New Drug blog).

Who are the buyers and consumers of CSAM?

How can you be a voice to free an enslaved child?
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